Michele and I have been devastated by the loss of RJ. I knew he had so many friends but your presence has really made it somewhat easier for us. This is something that we hope no one ever has to do again. The kids are supposed to bury the parents.
You all know that Richard was smart, funny, caring, and a lot of other good traits My hope is that you remember him and the good person he was. We always will.
RJ we miss you already. See you in heaven.
Dad
RJ was the best cousin a guy could have.I’ve got so many memories. at the lake riding wave runners.Watching him explode a bird feeder with a water winger.Staying up late and drinking everyone’s beer, and leaving all the empty beer cans laying all over the place.I miss going to the ranch and driving 4 wheelers and riding horses.Shooting sporting clays with you and Steve,lil Mike and my dad and i.I should have called you more often to hang out.What i’m going to miss the most is Christmas Eve.You always came over every year,never missed once.You always had the funniest stories, and i only got to hear them once a year.I wish now he could have hung out more.You were always there for anyone.You really were a gentle giant with a heart bigger than anyone.I’m really going to miss shooting guns with you. I know that was one of your favorite things to do, and is what i do every weekend.I know you will be there when i’m target shooting and help me stay on target.It won’t be the same without you, especially at Christmas. Love always, your cousin and friend Nick.
PS Don’t piss off grandma too much.
“May those who love us, love us;
and those who don’t love us,
may God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles
so we’ll know them by their limping.” (just an old Irish prayer)
Save me a seat at the card table (fresh deck of cards), have the ballgame turned on, the beverages cold, and we’ll have the usual, sometimes childish, but always entertaining evening/early morning…I love ya, miss ya and look forward to being with you again.
Sandy
I’m proud to be your friend RJ, but who wasn’t…Everyone always wanted to be around you. RJ couldn’t even haze without being cool. He would try to be mean to the moans, but he didn’t fool anyone. RJ made more friends and had more people admire him and want to be his friend as a result of his “hazing” than most people would ever hope for in a lifetime. How many countless times have you seen RJ take some poor sap under his arm, give him a sip of whisky, and tell him it’ll be okay when other guys were yelling at him. It was a pleasure to know you, RJ, as much as I did. To RJ’s family…I cannot imagine having a more compassionate, caring and genuine person in your family. Believe me when I tell you that he was truly loved by his friends and brothers. My wife just just reminded me of her greatest RJ memory…swinging Kara Johnson around at the Christmas party and RJ falling into the speaker. RJ..we love you.
RJ – You were a great friend and someone I always looked up to. I got to know you in the fraternity and as a pledge dad you taught me many lessons in life. I will never forget the way you could light up a room with your laughter. You always had time to lend an ear to a friend. I will always strive to be a genuine person like you were. The world will not be the same without you. My thoughts and prayers go out to the entire Rhoades family.
nooo….damnit, I met Rjr1 through JTV, he would give me encouragement with jokes and pranks and we developed a genuine friendship over a short period of time. we talked a few times on the phone and recently my messages have not been answered. my heart and stomach dropped when I got the text. I don’t know what to say I am still in complete shock. Rjr, I was blessed to have known you and you will not be forgotten. take it easy dude…peace
I cannot believe that you are gone. I only got the chance to see you a couple times since leaving college and for that I now only have the sincerest of regrets. I will have to rely on the wealth of fond memories from our time at Mizzou which, while plentiful, could have benefited from some more recent additions. I find some solace in that I know I will hear loads of stories from those who spent much more time with you over the past few years this weekend. I will miss you RJ. The world will miss you.
My deepest sympathy to the Rhoades family. Although RJ only lived 30 years, he lived his life to the fullest. I saw RJ a handful of times after college, but each time I did see him, it was as if not a day had passed. I spent many nights in Columbia trying to get RJ to leave the card table and join us for a drink, but it hardly ever worked. He was a great man who was a true friend. You will be missed.
My deepest condolences to the Rhoades family, my prayers and thoughts are with you. I knew RJ in college from the fraternity days. He was as nice a person you will find on this planet. It has been many years since I have seen RJ. I will regret that. I know that if I had seen him, he would have crossed the room with that big smile to say hello. When he did, I would have felt instant comfort, wherever we were. RJ could have that affect. You were always comfortable talking with him. He was as friendly and gentle as anyone you would ever meet. I will live the rest of my life with the regret of not having seen him before he past. You will be missed RJ.
I noticed the day you passed that the world just wasnt quite as funny as it once was. You were there to help me thtough the toughest times of growing up. Several of us leaning on each other figured out how to have a good time, even when times were tough. Cub scouts, tp parties, and football game sleep overs, listening to metalica and two live crew for the first time. If Ihad someway to relive some of the memories we shared (all of us). I would take it in a heartbeat.
I hope your family knows even though I am 430 miles away that you are in my prayers.
Patrick Davis
We were friends for 8 years and spent many of days and nights together. You were always there with me in good times and bad, and I thank you for that. You were generous, loyal and brilliant. Our spades duo was unmatched, and it was an honor Sir to take advantage of Woost and Tease with you. I miss you very much and know I will see you again. There is no doubt you will be rooting for the Tigers with me.
Paul D.
Mike,Michele,Jenni and Mike,
We are so sorry.God bless all of you.
Sincerely,
John & Joyce Burns
I met Rj on jtv..he was always a happy and funny guy..and gave me advise the last time i talked to him..im deeply saddened and will miss him..thanks Rj for being my friend.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand
Your Friend,
Carol
I don’t know where to begin. I have tried to make this post since the moment Pickert put this up, but I just haven’t been able to do it. I still cannot believe that you are gone. I have hung out with you (or at least spoke with you on the phone) everyday of my life for the past 10 years. You affected every aspect of my life. I am so lucky to have spent so much time with you. You were the most honest, generous & loyal friend anyone could ever have. Not a day will go by that I will not think of you. You are the brother that I never had and I can’t wait to see you again. I love you so much and miss you even more.
Woost
While I still can’t believe RJ is gone, it’s almost impossible for me not to laugh out loud when I think of RJ and his finely-tuned, infamous shenanigans and light-hearted temperament. But these are just two of the many, many traits that made RJ such a fun guy. RJ was one of the first guys I met at Sigma Chi, and he made such a positive impression on me as someone I could look up to. He was just a great person– genuinely nice, caring, and possibly one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Whenever he arrived, he had such a great way of lighting up the room- always with laughter-all he ever had to do was show up!
I was so lucky to have the opportunity to become friends with RJ at Mizzou. He brightened my world and certainly did the same for everyone who was lucky enough to get to know him. He was such a positive, fun person to be around and I was really looking forward to reconnecting and to seeing RJ again soon… this is so saddening. A great Sigma Chi and a fun person with such a charismatic personality; simply put, he will be greatly missed. I’d like to offer my most deepest condolences to RJ’s family and relatives for such an untimely, unfortunate loss.
Bryant Green
R.J…..a true example of what a fraternity brother should be. His own poem posted on this page and the words of others truly exemplifies who he was. I couldn’t have asked for a better pledge father when I was a young moan….as he not only helped guide me through Sigma Chi, but he taught me a lot about care and compassion for others. RJ was always there for me and anyone else who ever needed an “ear to bend.” RJ was one of those guys that TRULY cared about everyone….and he always made time for those in need. RJ had a love for Sigma Chi and his friends that will never be forgotten. ALL HONOR TO HIS NAME, IHSV.
Where do I begin? There was never a dull moment when you were around RJ. His humor and light-hearted attitude made everyone around him laugh. I’ll never forget the good old days in grade school when we dressed up in camo and made stealth missions down to Blue River Park or that time in high school when we were four-wheeling at the farm, got stuck and had to walk 2 miles to the nearest blacktop for help. Most of the Sigma Chi stories should probably be saved for another day but all the countless memories I will never forget! RJ, you will be missed.
It was May 1993 when the STM 8th Grade class celebrated their graduation with a dinner/dance. Under the direction of their teachers, each student wrote a poem about qualities that best described them and what their hopes and dreams were for the future. I still remember reading RJ’s that evening and being touched by his special talent. After digging through a trunk of memorabilia, I found the collection of poems and wanted to share RJ’s with you.
R.J.
Joking,
Caring,
And bright.
Wishes to become someone who is liked.
Dreams of being someone humorous and wry,
Someone who laughs, someone who crys,
Someone who likes to have fun and to play,
Someone you can turn to when things aren’t going your way,
Someone you can also turn to when in tears, and
Someone who will try to stay your friend over the years.
And when life deals out friends like cards,
He’ll find the good ones, no matter how hard.
And if he is dealt a bad one or two,
He will always succeed and always come through,
Because along with the new ones, old ones he’ll keep
To treasure and hold in his heart very deep.
Who plans on being a very special cop,
Who will pull through always and come out on top.
Who plans on having a wife and some kids,
And he will be with them as long as he lives.
And when he dies, the memories he’ll take,
The memories he loves, the memories he hates.
To heaven he’ll take the sweet memories,
To hold in his heart for all eternity.
I was a few years younger then RJ but when growing up I got the privilege to terrorize the Blue Hills neighborhood with RJ and the Stack boyz. RJ and the Stack boyz taught me lessons that still make me laugh out loud today. I didn’t see RJ for years after that until we started playing cards late night at Woooster’s house. Obviously RJ would get the best of all of us but when kicking our asses he was always teaching everyone how to be a better card player. He truely loved to help people whenever he could especially with computers and I very grateful for all the times he helped me. RJ you will be missed forever. Go Chiefs, MU, and Kansas Cityyyyyyyyyyyy!
Hey love just wanted to tell you you mean the world to me…FOREVER AND ALWAYS. I am going to miss your 3+ hour phone calls EVERYDAY, even when we had nothing to say we’d sit there with our sooo’s, ummm’s, and uhhh’s and giggle about it, you were just telling about your 6000 minutes we had talked in Feb.I hold my phone wishing I could call you, see what you are up to. You truly made me happy, and I know I did the same for you. Im in shock and I dont know what do say, just 4 days ago you were up here in Michigan and we we’re having soo much fun then this….the shot glass you drank from at my house is still in my dishwasher not yet washed. I mean im heartbroken, sad, confused and everything else inbetween…but mostly heartbroken. No more !assslaps on justin.tv? damn!…what am I supposed to do. I like you told me in your last Email you sent me before you came up..”You have my heart now I want yours”…R.J you had my heart from the start…just so you know.
LOVE,
Michelle Malley
I don’t know where to start with my memories about R.J. Some of my best memories about R.J. were made around the card table. We would stay up all night playing cards in college usually accusing each other of table talking and getting mad at others when they didn’t pay us our winnings. I will always remember riding in the car with R.J. driving. I think anyone will agree that with R.J. driving, the trip was never uninteresting or long. But the best memory I have of R.J. was his laugh and his kind heart. He was truly one of the most geniune nicest guys I have ever known. I will miss you R.J.
John Crawford
RJ -
I have so many great memories of you when we were kids. From spending the night at your house to looking for frogs in the creek in your backyard to T.P.ing people’s houses to sneaking out of your basement and going to the Clune’s house in the middle of the night – most of my grade school memories were made with you. There have been so many times over the years that I have thought about those days. You were my best friend. You always made me laugh. You taught me to not take life so seriously. I will always remember you and those times we had. Your family is in my thoughts and you are greatly missed.
Dave Giangreco
The ever witty, always funny, loveable big guy who doimnated the card table. I remember being scared of, actually fearing, playing cards against RJ….he always new what to play and how to make you think you were doing well before quickly dominating. Always a nice guy, RJ had a spirit for life we should all aim to achieve. Forever in my heart you will always be missed.
“There is consolation in knowing that he went to his God, having so lived that when it came time for him to go down to the dark river of death, and its chill waters dampened his feet, he was able to say, looking back over his past life, I have fought the good fight, I have finished my work; my life has not been in vain for the white cross of Sigma Chi has gained new luster by my life.” – L.A. Yeager, Mu Mu, 1900.
Some of my fondest memories while at Mizzou came from time spent with RJ. If there was ever a time when I was looking for something to do or for just a little amusement, RJ was my go-to guy. The best thing about RJ was that aside from the humor, he was a guy I could go to with any problem knowing that he would do whatever he could to help me out in anyway possible. He was definitely someone that I trusted and felt comfortable going to for advice or just to vent. I know most of his family doesn’t know me well, but I wanted to let you know that you raised an excellent son and little brother. RJ was well-liked and just a genuinely nice person that could be counted on for almost anything. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Chris Kuhn
RJ-
Man, I’ve got a lot of stories to tell. I was so happy to see you again on Facebook and was looking forward to meeting with you, again. I still will, my friend. Even though, it’s been many years since we’ve crossed paths, I still think of you as one of my best friends. I don’t think I could retell a better story than the ones I have of you and I and our other St. Thomas More friends and the countless nights we stayed at your house. Your parents were so great to us and let us boys be boys. Thanks to you and to them, we will always hold and cherish these memories. Like one friend said, we need to keep our stories clean, so I won’t go there, but I was reminded of the countless hours we posted on the Rally X arcade game (usually before TPing one of the STM girls houses OR before a big football game). I know you had many friends with many fond and funny memories of you, but know that I remember you and our times like they were yesterday. Although you AND I had a lot of fun at the expense of others (Debbie Roberts and Ms. Flanagan can vouch for that), I’m confident that you passed with not a single enemy and many, many friends. I’ve missed you and look forward to seeing you again.
-Eddie Miller
RJ, while most of our stories together should probably NEVER NEVER be repeated they will never be forgotten. My memories date back over 20 years, you are probably my oldest friend. I remember spending the night at your house but calling my parents at midnight to come pick me up because we would watch some cheesy horror movie. I remember pancake breakfasts at your grandparents house in Fariway. I remember Patches and how funny we thought is was when your parents got that statue out front that looked just like Patches and that dog would bark for hours at it through the glass door. I remember your mom washing your mouth out with soap after you said something I thought was pretty funny.. she didn’t think so…. And when I saw you this past November and we hadn’t really seen each other in sometime, we started into it like no time had passed, you always had away of making everyone feel welcome and comfortable, even as you were making a smart-@$$ remark about them… I’m sorry we will not be able to have that drink together afterall. I will miss you.
RJ…no better person to play cards, fish, tell jokes, or laugh with. You will be missed brother.
Tagged Stephen BowenRJ, you were always the funniest, nicest, and best person around. From the 1st day in kindergarten, when you were suspended for bringing a pocket knife to school; to getting into full ND uniform in the locker room and getting into a 3-point stance; to all the endless card games; to picking me up after my car wreck last year – you were always there and always the best. You’ll be very missed. Please watch over us, and make sure we live life like you did – on your own terms! Love you, Teas.